can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
