Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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