Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
