you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Still dying that you shit outside
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
