She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
