the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
