Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
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