I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
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