So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
soo... how was my night?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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