i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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