If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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