The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
