I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
