so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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