idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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