i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Randomize
