dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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