Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I'm getting married
To pizza
A+ Viking dick
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
