ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
