Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
