we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Randomize
