I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
