So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
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