you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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