walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
