He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
