I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
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