Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize