I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
