And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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