Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Randomize
