he thought i was a dude.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Randomize
