I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
3pm strippers are depressing
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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