Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
We talked him into tasing himself.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
