this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
