end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
ugly people sure do ruin things
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I AM VODKA MAN
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
