Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
two words...techno handjob
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
try to milk me bitch
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