I don't remember. Are we still dating?
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
