I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Last time i carry you out of a forest
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
