I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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