I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
