but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
