if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
