I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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