I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Randomize
