There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
