spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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