you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
