Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
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