My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Randomize
