I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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