So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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