just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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