I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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