it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
