I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
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