I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Randomize
